Reimagining Romance

Romance is not bad per se, but I think that centering it in your personal life and in society leads to a myriad of problems. All links in this anthology are to things that I have written on my site. In this anthology I am attempting to “glue” my various thoughts on romance together in a more singular, cohesive piece.

Part I: Problems With Romance

I do not think that romance/romantic relationships should be a primary life goal. I have no problem with romantic relationships per se, but I think that they should be only a portion of your total relationships/energy/time.

Romantic desire is fickle and sometimes hard to cultivate and keep alive, all of which makes me believe it to be a dubious foundation for a long-term relationship.

There is no one way to cultivate a long-term partnership and I think that the social messaging around romance and marriage makes us complacent in giving our all in those relationships, which makes us expect too much in return.

The problem with romance is that it has a lot of conceptual baggage, like societal norms, many of which are outdated and don’t serve people as well as they used to, if they ever did at all.

Part II: Reimagining Romance

There are a number of different positions that you can hold in regards to romance.

While I think it is an interesting intellectual exercise to imagine a post-romantic world, I fall somewhere in the Reformer position.

I think that non-monogamous romance that doesn’t necessarily lead to partnership would be the ideal state of romance in society.