The Norms of Romance

Outlining the various norms of the stages of romance.

This stub was tagged with: Love/Romance

This stub was born on April 3, 2024.

Relationship Escalator (you move on from one step to the other in a linear progression):

  1. You date non-exclusively
  2. You date exclusively
  3. You get married (can move in before or after)
  4. You buy a house together
  5. You have kids

read more on the relationship escalator

the relationship escalator has changed a little bit over time, but not all that much

  • there might be slight deviation in the order but people are generally expected to follow it linearly
  • within each piece of the relationship escalator are norms/expectations for people in those roles

Norms on who you can marry

  • Same race - outdated but still racism
  • Same class - still kicking but not as explicit
  • Opposite sex - outdated but still homophobia
  • Only one person - Monogamy is still strongly held but polyamory is gaining traction

Norms of what you do when married

  • Move in together - almost no discourse in opposition
  • Buy a house together - small opposing voices about buying vs renting
    • Sleep in the same bed/share a bedroom - small alternative voices
  • Share finances - some opposing voices
  • Have kids - some empowerment for DINKs