Romance as a Bad Organizing Principle

I believe that romance is not a good organizing principle for life or relationships.

This stub was tagged with: Love/Romance

This stub was born on April 2, 2024.


what is an organizing principle?

  • https://dallaswholelife.com/2014/10/30/organizing-principle-life/
  • when i say life organizing principle i mean the thing in which you organize your life around, thus centering it

why is it a bad life organizing principle?

  • you can chase romance but it takes time to find + grow it
  • you could be using that time to strengthen friendships, career, etc
  • you can multi-task, but it is hard to intentionally do lots of things at the same time
  • having romantic relationships at the top of the hierarchy can be tricky especially when you have an all-in-one romantic relationship where they are most/all of your support system

if its a bad life organizing principle, does that make it a bad relationship organizing principle?

  • depends on what your goal is
  • romance is inherently unstable in my opinion because it is so heavily tied to desire
  • if you want to raise a family (i.e. co-parent) romance has nothing to do with child-rearing capability
    • in fact raising children can take away time and energy from romance maintenance
  • if you want a roommate romance has little to do with your compatibility in living together
    • i don’t think that spending lots of time together while living together inherently lowers the quality/magic of romance but can lead to taking the other person’s presence for granted and not maintaining the spark of romance
  • if you want someone to share life with it need not be romantic, could be a friend or family member

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