Your partner shouldn't complete you

Soulmates and perfect halves don't exist and the idea may cause more harm than good.

This stub was tagged with: Love/Romance

This stub was born on October 22, 2023.


It probably won’t come as a surprise to you, but I don’t believe in soulmates. Supposedly 60% of the United States believes in soulmates (Source). The myth of the soulmate supposedly comes from Ancient Greece and pervades much of the current mythos of romantic love in society today.

Longing for wholeness is one thing but to seek it in another person is another

  • the desire to feel complete to me that is wanting to know yourself and have your shortcomings be neutralized but you can do that too it just takes inner work
  • i think longing for wholeness is a Christian value that has then seeped into the concept of romance

I think that your partner should complement you, not complete you

  • Your partner core values should match up that isn’t completeness but being in same page
  • You and your partner shouldn’t be the exact same
    • You should have some different interests or path in life so that you can teach and learn things to continue growing as people
    • In some ways having an introverted and extroverted partner is helpful but opposites can lead to clashing but having a determined and lazy partner could be helpful if resentment doesn’t build or death by a thousand paper cuts
  • Completion implies that you are imperfect without another person
  • Another person cannot give your life meaning implicitly, that comes with the idea of devoting your life to that person as your own decision that imbues your life with meaning

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