Online dating is weird

A look into a few reasons of why online dating is weird and that you're right to think so.

This stub was tagged with: Social Media, Dating

This stub was born on July 31, 2023.

Context collapse of posting Hinge to other social media

Organic connections are better, but are harder to find these days

  • not as many places to meet people
  • especially if you don’t have hobbies or interests that cause people to gather
  • church/communities of worship have been a great place and still is, but for an increasingly non-religious youth population this doesn’t help them

Selection bias within dating apps

  • The type of people on Hinge are the type of people to download hinge
  • Do the populations become homogenous?

Can you find non-veterans on dating apps?

  • If your friends force you to download the apps and try it, perhaps you can find other people in the same boat who are less the type of person to be on Hinge

Dating apps have worked for some people, friends of mine have had successful relationships come out of it, many have even found their spouses on it. Why does it work for some people and not other? Is it a numbers game, like statically some of the relationships have to work out?

Knowing peoples intentions

  • Just because they’re on Hinge signals a certain kind of thing, but only that they’re open to connection, the kind of connection that they’re looking for varies, and people are not always transparent with that

It is necessarily superficial and structured apps allow people to be more cookie cutter

  • You are judging people off of looks and tidbits of information about themselves

Pay-to-win micro transactions for dating apps is wild and ruins the experience for everyone

  • Tinder/Hinge Elo
  • Hinge roses and standouts literally gatekeeping

Hyperoptimization of dating profiles and having dating and/or profile coaches makes it feel so inauthentic

Online dating + a gimmick is becoming fairly real

  • Survey the dating app landscape
  • Draw with someone
  • Complete a puzzle as you talk and then you see what they look like (love is blind kinda)

The Problems with Swiping

  • Why did Tinder and Hinge adopt swiping and why did it get so big?
  • Secretary problem
    • There is an undo button, but not sure how much recall ability there is
    • If you swipe on someone do they ever come back into the feed?
    • DO you see everyone on the app? I’ve swiped through everyone in my area before, but that didn’t seem real

What does a match mean?

  • Does that mean that they find you physically attractive or that they want to go on a date with you? Or is it just signaling that they want more information from you?
  • People approach it differently because the strategy is to take it off the app after a bit of screening

Staying friends or seeing people that you’ve seen on dating apps in real life

  • Do you say something?
  • If you matched before but there was no conversation or it died out, should you flirt with them?

Does everyone take it seriously?

  • new genre of “unhinged” profiles or answers as a means to comedy or is that a way to filter out people without your sense of humor and actually increase your chance of a genuine connection?

Gamification of dating?