Is compatibility discrete or continuous?

Yes/No vs % compatibility with a romantic partner.

This stub was tagged with: Love/Romance

This stub was born on July 23, 2023.


What is compatibility?

  • Multiple dimensions: communication, sexual, lifestyle (finance, interior design), values
  • All of these multiple dimensions are toward an end though and that is staying in that relationship and spending that much time in closeness together being able to grow together is just the only way to stay in a relationship for that long, that is not the end that is the means
  • People who are better off as friends are usually for less entanglement or less time together

Does reciprocity of intention/effort lead to better outcomes than “compatibility”?

  • In other words, does trying hard work better than being compatible?
  • you have to be willing to compromise and compatibility reduces the number of compromises that you have to make differences in people are fine but compromising who you are is bad
  • why try so hard? love is not having to try is NOT a good philosophy

It is binary - Yes or no

  • Would it work or not work? I’m not so sure if this is correct What would the threshold be in a continuous What counts as “working”? A healthy living relationship? To me 80%+

Is % compatibility more swayed by the amount of disagreement on a topic or is it more about the core values that are affected? A mixture of both? Compatibility is subjective so it depends on what the person values. Fringe values or traits affect % less. Deviance is core values cause change in percent at a faster rate, exponential growth?

Does % change in compatibility have a linear relationship with % change in happiness? Is compatibility % result in happiness or just less arguments?

Does compatibility entail understanding? Is understanding a part of compatibility?

What are the markers of compatibility?

  • Convergence of Life values and goals

Something that works for some couples won’t work for other couples

  • Bicoastal couples who are long distance bypass the idea that you have to be close or have life goals that are compatible, but for the majority of people this is probably not the case.

Is the notion of compatibility subjective? Or just the parameters/particulars of the compatibility?

I think the idea that there’s no such thing as a perfect partner isn’t interesting it’s more interesting to think about how they could be perfect but that doesn’t mean you were right about your preferences or that you would even like that.


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